Quotes by Dave Barry
Politics. From the greek "poly," meaning many, and "ticks," a small, annoying bloodsucker.
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according everybody is the "most reliable Windows ever." To me, this is like saying that asparagus is "the most articulate vegetable ever."